June 15, 2024
I have parts of me that have wanted to create a blog for quite some time, and, I’ve had parts of me overcome with imposter syndrome who did not feel good enough to do so {parts work}. Two different parts are at play here.
As some context, I wrote my first blog in 2006 when I was quite a bit younger :). I think that part of me has been yearning to write again, now that I have a website. And an older part of me feels inspired by @Ayandastood’s message of, “when you are yearning to be creative, there are people yearning for your creativity in return.” This is the idea of a the collective consciousness. {Liberation Psychology}
I feel like there would be merit in explaining how I work with these parts as well. Here, I have a part of me that is so eager to write and be creative (I often attribute part of this to my moon being in Leo); and another part of me that feels like she is not good enough to engage creatively.
Here, I try to understand and respect both parts involved. To my part who is eager, I tell her, “I am so excited that you are excited” somatically jumps up and down to celebrate I spend some time affirming this part and letting her know she can write ✍️, even if we don't post it on our blog. And that she needs to wait for a bit to see if other parts would be willing to post. I let her know that I will check back in with her once I have checked in with other parts. {Somatic Psychology}
I also ask if there is anything I can do to make her feel more seen, and she tells me that she would like a couple screenshots of her original blog to be posted here if the blog does go up: {Parts Work}
I agree and let her know I am going to spend some time with my other part as well. Now I go and sit with the part of me that feels apprehensive about starting a blog.
I ask her what her fear is with publicly posting a blog? She tells me that she doesn’t have a degree in English, she’s never figured out how grammar works in English, and mostly, what if she is not understood? What if, in fact, she is misunderstood? What if? {existential psychology/philosophy}
What if is a heavy feeling. It signals uncertainty. Our nervous systems do not like uncertainty. It's a deviation from the norm. Together we spend a good amount of time noticing where in the body we feel this sensation. We lean in (rather than avoid the discomfort) and and we breathe safety into our body. I notice that for this part, the memory of past times where the worst “what it” situations come up to memory. I listen to this part, and I comfort and validate this part. We talk about the feeling imposter syndrome and what it brings up, and the, we just feeeeeel a lot. {Somatic Psychology}
I let this part of me know that we can continue to spend time on this topic, and that a blogpost will not be posted unless she feels safe and ready with the idea. If she chooses, she can take the blogpost off at any point as well; or never post to begin with. Having multiple options, as well as a way out, is highly important. I also reiterate that we will not make a rushed decisions. Well thought out, and well felt out, decisions signal safety to our bodies. {Trauma-Informed Psychology}
This part tells me about her fears, and also tells me about her wishes. She wants to engage creatively, but that she wishes she could be perfect at it. We talk through perfectionism, we remember our favorite quotes about it, and some feeling in our body shifts.
Somatically, its starting to feel safer. The creativity feels like a golden a sparkler, its warm, its sparkly, bright, and its full of dynamic movement. I thank this part for letting me talk to her, and I let her know I will check in again in the future to see if she still feels okay with posting the blog.
I hope this blog will be helpful in understanding how you might start to have communication and relationship with different parts of yourself.
No person’s parts are the same, but I tend to find that if we approach parts of ourselves with openness, curiosity, compassion, confidence and clarity, we will create a warmer relationship with ourselves. {Internal Family System's Qualities of Self; Parts Work}
Until inspiration strikes again,
تارا (Tara) (Persian Spelling: ت: T /ا: A /ر: R/ا: A)